Funny Stuff

'People like you are the reason people like me need medication.'

'I have animal magnetism. When I go outside squirrels stick to my clothes.'

'You're not an idiot, you just play one in real life.'

'I used to have superpowers but my therapist took them away.'

'Your shirt says princess but your face says troll.'

'This is the part where I nod and pretend I'm listening.'

'The last thing I want to do is kill you, but it's still on the list.'

'School prepares you for the real world. Which also sucks.'

On a T-shirt covered with red blotches:'Don't worry, it's not my blood.'